


Tears and Regrets [NCT]

by kkkleop



Category: NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video), Without You - NCT U (Music Video)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fanfiction, Friendship/Love, M/M, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, Mentioned Na Jaemin, Mentioned Park Jisung (NCT), Minor Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Na Jaemin-centric, OT7 NCT Dream, POV Male Character, Photography, Sad Na Jaemin, Shy Huang Ren Jun, Soft Huang Ren Jun, Soft Na Jaemin, Trainee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28894884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkkleop/pseuds/kkkleop
Summary: "I used to be alone, became a scene in the world. As if i couldn't take my tight hand out. I can't be completed except for you." - Puzzle Piece.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & NCT Dream Ensemble, NCT Dream Ensemble & Reader, NCT Dream Ensemble/Original Character(s), NCT Ensemble & Reader
Kudos: 8





	1. These Days

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, and it happened to be a RenMin fanfic! Please enjoy and Thank you.

“You worked hard, Jaemin. You did well.” I told myself.

I blocked the sun slightly with my hands, feeling the warm it gives.

It's been three years.. And yet, I'm still here. Still drowned in the past.

When will I go forward? I wonder..

I’ve been feeling so empty these days, working freelance is so hard.

Since I was young, I like to associate myself with anything that involves cameras. I like to capture memories to cherish them, so I would never forget but _he_ did….

I stood up when the autumn leaves started to fall. This will be the third autumn since that day. I smiled and started walking in the park slowly, feeling the northern breeze.

Hands in my pocket while looking at my walking feet when I noticed a pair of converse shoes in front of me.

“Renjun.”

He smirked and put his finger on his lip, telling me to be quiet. He pulled his camera capturing my startled face.

“Jaemin.”

His gentle voice stirred up a familiar feeling inside me that I buried three years ago. I looked down and laughed. I guess I forgot too, huh? I forgot this feeling. I don't even know what to feel.. happy, sad, regret, passion….. It all came back.

“Aren’t you going to hug me?” He said, his arms wide open.

Feeling lost, I started to walk and pulled his hand to me, hugging him tightly. Now that I've felt his warmth again, my heart ache. Can’t we stay like this forever, _my love..?_

My eyes watered and with my voice started to shake i muttered,

“I missed you..”

“I missed you, Renjun. So much..” 

  
  



	2. Those Days

“Okay, 1! 2! 3!” 

I danced with all my might just like how the instructor wants. Evaluation is near and this will be the last. They’ll finally create the line up. I dance and dance until sweat starts to drip from my face and my shirt starts to soak. 

“Okay, break! Good job everyone! Especially you, Jaemin. You’ve improved so much.” I just smiled and bowed politely as a sign of gratitude to the dance instructor. 

“I can feel it, you will be part of the line up.” Jeno, my best friend, tapped my shoulder while laughing. I shaked my head and laughed as well.

“I don’t want to assume, Jeno. But if there’s one thing that i'm sure of is that you're going to debut.” 

He punched my arm while swiping his sweat, “Shut up, don't give me hope.” 

I drank my water and changed to a new shirt when I noticed Renjun at the corner of the practice room. He got scolded earlier. I grabbed another bottle of water and sat beside him.

“You did great.” I handed him the bottle and swiped his sweat on his face. 

“No, I didn't. That’s why I got scolded.” He looked so down that I almost hugged him. 

“No, really. You worked hard today, Renjun.” I patted his head and smiled. 

“I love your dance earlier, Jaemin. You really stand out.” He smiled, finally. I was just staring at him while he’s laughing at all the mistakes he made when the manager calls my name. 

“Jaemin.” 

I stood up and greeted the manager. 

“Follow me.”

We went inside the conference room and my heart started to boom loudly. Is this good.. _or bad?_

“I'll go straight to the point, Jaemin. And I want you to be honest, your future depends on your answer.” He looks so stern that I can't almost breathe properly. My hand started to shake so I tightened my hold on my right hand. 

“Do you have _feelings_ for Renjun?” Shocked, his eyes dropped on my hands that got separated due to shockness. 

Wide eyed, I started to shake my head. 

“N-No hyung, I don’t have feelings for Renjun.” _I have.._

“Then how would you explain this?” He put a white folder that contains different pictures of us from the cctv… _and from the balcony_ . My voice became drained and I couldn't utter a single word. I feel _betrayed_. 

“Hyung, no.. This is all just a misunderstanding--”

“Don’t even say that this is platonic, Jaemin. One of your co-trainee confessed as well. I’m very disappointed in you.” His eyes mirror pity and disappointment. 

“But hyung, the evaluation is near!” My eyes start to water as I submerge myself into shame and dismay. How the hell did this happen...

“That’s why I’m telling this to you now. You can’t continue anymore, the higher ups already decided. You violated one of the terms. Although I want you to stay.. I can’t do anything. I’m sorry.” Sadness laced in his voice and tapped me. 

“And, lastly.. Does Renjun know about this?” 

“No! This is all on me, this is my fault. Please let him continue, Hyung!” I pleaded while my head bowed down. I can’t let this happen to Renjun. 

I looked up when I heard a sniff, manager hyung is crying… He tapped me on the shoulder and hugged me.

“I’m sorry, I couldn't protect you. You worked hard for the last three years, you did so well. I’m so proud of you.” He whispered. I couldn't help but to shred tears as well. 

_What just happened.. I still can't seem to fathom._

“Thank you, hyung.” 

_Please tell me this is a dream…_

As I marched through the practice room. Mark, Jeno, Donghyuck, Chenle, Jisung and.. Renjun confronts me. Jisung is crying while Jeno runs onto me. 

“Tell me this is not true! Jaemin, what happened!” As I hugged him my feelings started to pour. I feel weak.

“I’m sorry..” _I’m sorry I can’t debut with you.._

One by one, they all came to me and hugged me. Hyuck.. Mark.. Chenle.. Jisung.. except for one person. 

“Jaemin hyung, No I can’t.. I can’t debut without you please..” 

“No, Jisung. You guys will debut with or without me, alright? Please know that I’m okay.” 

_Do I deserve this?... maybe.... because this, is all my fault._

As I hugged them all, one person in the corner remained. I walked in front of him and offered my hand. He looked up and all I see in his eyes is tears and regret.. _Oh no baby don’t feel sorry._. 

I bent down and hugged him, “I will own this up, please don’t feel regret okay? Because I don’t feel any. Remember it all, I will too.” He clutched my sweater and cried hard. 

“Promise me that you will debut, okay? I want to see you on stage.. all of you.“

As I whisper my comfort and love my heart starts to break.. The other members don't seem to have any idea.. I guess they don't know huh.. that's better, _maybe_...

“I know you are all tired but can we please dance together.. This might be the last..” 

Donghyuck and Jisung can’t seem to stop from crying so I laughed it out that my heart ached..

Chenle played the song and we immediately got into our position.. This is the first song that we danced as a group and it will be the last.

The song started and I poured all my feelings into it but when it peaked to the end I started to scream the sadness I felt that made us stop on our track and cried on bended knees.. 

_For the last time,_

_Goodbye my brothers.._

_Thank you for being my shelter all these years…_

_And until the end,_

_Fly high my members._

_Until we meet again._


	3. From This Day On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. Thank you!

All the memories came back and now here you are in front of me.. smiling so brightly. Did you already forget? _I hope not._

“I am here to.. hand this personally to you. We were supposed to go altogether but I volunteered alone to give this to you. It’s been three years, we missed you... I missed you..” 

I stared at the ticket he gave. _‘The Dream Show in Seoul’_

“You’re supposed to be with--” 

“Shut up, I told you not to regret, right?” He laughed but I can still see the guilt in his eyes. _Don't be.._

“Come, please?” 

“Ofcourse..” 

The autumn leaves fall even more. That is when I realized that I need to.. go. 

“So.. goodbye i guess? I need to get back to my studio, don’t forget to visit, alright? I’ll see you guys in the show.” I smiled sadly, patting his head and walked past him. Maybe.. this is the end for us. And this.. will be the last heartache.

I stared at the setting sun while walking and smiled. New tomorrow, new beginnings. As the world continues to move forward, I will too. But I assure you, this heart would _never forget_. 

Seeing you all together, in one stage, surrounded by the people who love and support you makes me the happiest. I couldn't be more prouder. You all came the long way. And I promised to redeem myself and make you all proud of me as well. You will always be my members, brothers and family. 

And seeing _you_ jump in happiness, healed my heart. You looked at me from the stage and waved so I laughed. 

I can finally say that, _I am happy._  
  


**_You shine the brightest, Huang Renjun._**

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fan fiction so their age and the time are different. Please leave a kudos and a comment. It'll be a pleasure. Thank you so much!


End file.
